I suck at blogging. I am well aware that it has now been 2 months since I posted, and have no other excuse aside from the busyness of life. I am deeply sorry (not that anyone but my mom really cares--love you, mommy). I think one of the main reasons I have such a hard time keeping a steady blog going is because it is very difficult for me to sit down and put my thoughts on paper. I feel like I have to have this massive post together every time I blog, and maybe I just need to get over that. I would like to know where the people who actually blog regularly find the time.
After Simon and I got back from our honeymoon in Italy (it was amazing, thanks for asking, and pictures are up on Facebook), my discontent with my job imploded inside of me. I had a few--okay more than a few--meltdowns, and after much prayer and going back and forth, I finally felt like God was telling me to step out on a limb and trust Him. So I turned in my 2 weeks notice and said goodbye to Starbucks--hopefully forever (as I type this I feel a sense of pending doom that I will have to return at some point). I've been taking some time to start figuring out what it is exactly that God wants me to be doing. I've also been applying for A LOT of jobs, which has been pretty much fruitless until this week. Now I have 2 interviews lined up for the next week(ish). I'm not sure if I am holding my breath for either of them, as I would really love to work for Oxfam (for all of you Texans reading this, Oxfam is a massive charity that helps people in 3rd world countries). That seems quite far out of reach despite the many contacts I have made and the oodles of positive feedback I have gotten from them.
I have split my time between job hunting and house hunting as Simon and I are moving again. The job he started in July is in Oxford, and he has been commuting about 2.5-3 hours roundtrip every day (poor baby). Needless to say, he is exhausted and tired of all of the driving. We have been looking at tiny towns outside of Oxford that are amazing and where the housing is cheaper.
I am excited and scared about this move. I was telling Simon the other night that I feel like a nomad. I don't know where home is. Moving back and forth between 4 different universities and 2 countries and several cities has left me feeling out of place, and I don't actually know where I belong anymore. It is difficult as I don't make friends particularly well. Maybe it's not an intimacy issue as previous counselors have insinuated. Maybe it's just that it is really hard to invest so much time and energy and get attached to people when I just have to leave in 6 months. Anyway, just a fleeting thought. There may be more on this in other posts if God starts digging in my heart about this issue.
So I feel like this whole year has been an ebb and flow of God showing me His faithfulness and then testing me to see how well I do in trusting that. I think I've gotten to the point now where I am okay when things are not seemingly good, but there are still those moments of panic that rise up in me at times (like when our bills are due and we are at the end of our overdraft). But...He has not failed me yet. He has always been faithful to provide with everything that we need exactly when we feel like we are at the end of our ropes. Still there are things that I have to deal with. Disappointments that are really big. Like the fact that we won't be able to go back to Texas for Thanksgiving like we were planning. It is seemingly impossible. But you never know. God has all kinds of tricks up His sleeves...
(On a side note from all of this, you may remember Popeye from previous posts. Well I am sad to announce that Popeye has moved. The last time I saw her was 2 Fridays ago when she came to visit me and got quite annoying what with her ALWAYS wanting to be on top of me, so I chucked her out of the house. About 10 minutes later, it started torrentially down pouring and she disappeared. Her owners moved house last weekend, and so we have new neighbors. I was thinking about making them some tasty goodies to say "Welcome to the neighborhood" but Simon thinks it is a stupid idea. We will see how lucky they end up getting.)
xoxo
m
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